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General to moderately strong content.

Waiter Jokes

"Waiter, waiter,there's a hand in my soup." "That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl."

Waiter, waiter! There's a wasp in my dessert. So that's where they go to in the winter.

Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu: Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.

Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn't come in and closed you up? Waiter: They're afraid to eat here.

Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered? Waiter: Well, you know how slow turtles are.

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies? Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup? .

What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.

Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup. Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites !

I say waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? None, a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water.

Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.

Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!

Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup. Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.

Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream. I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?

Waiter, what is this stuff? That's bean salad sir. I know what it's been, but what is it now?

Waiter, I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?

Waiter, your tie is in my soup! That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.

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