annual revenue growth of Internet solution systems is exponential. A
true sign of e-commerce validity in today's business model."
|Welcome to our corporate
revenue chart where we display our yearly earnings in an easy to
understand graph. It may be true that there are no actual x or y
axis information, but that never stopped anyone from actually
believing it is a fairdinkum graph as they casually strolled by to
check if you are working. Isn't that amazing, how just the fact that
there is a graph on the screen makes it look like you're deeply
enthralled in hard core work. All you need is a graph and the word
business a few times!
Figure 1.0 - The phenomenal
of using graphs to create the illusion of work.
table to the left displays our annual revenue growth over
the past ten years and estimates the next three.
Exponential growth occurred in 1995 due to the phenomenon
of the Internet. If your boss is currently reading this, he
or she has most likely already caught on that this is
complete and utter bullshit, but hey, at least you tried.
Oh and another thing, bullets have the same effect. No, not
like as in guns, point form documents! Here are some
useless facts to prove the point...
- 1995 revenue increased
125% due to Internet
- 1998 e-commerce increased
as consumer trust goes up during Christmas season.
- 1999 estimated to be best
year since 1995 with 130% growth predicted.
- 2010 with Internet 2
online, new applications will spring our revenue into the next
See what I mean, complete horse shit
but it works! You have to wonder why your manager makes so many
trips past your desk in the first place. Never seems to actually be
going anywhere, so what are they doing? The brief flicker of hope
that your manager is coming over to congratulate you on lowering
your "at work personal internet time" from 40 hours a week
down to 35 are always shot down when he or she continues to walk
past your desk! Maybe it's the fact that you have your screen pushed
up against the corner of your cubical and your manager couldn't see
it anyway, and is in fact going to another desk that they CAN see
what employees are doing. Not all employees are smart enough to
position their monitor according to visibility.
For more information on the
information presented in this business document, email our sales and
support center or contact your representative. We would be happy to
discuss any of this complete garbage to you with in-depth over tones
and filler you haven't experienced since your last trip to the