Business Update Network
Article : 1998 to 2008 Annual Revenue Growth Chart
Author : Steven R. Goldstein Jr.
 

"The annual revenue growth of Internet solution systems is exponential. A true sign of e-commerce validity in today's business model."

 Welcome to our corporate revenue chart where we display our yearly earnings in an easy to understand graph. It may be true that there are no actual x or y axis information, but that never stopped anyone from actually believing it is a fairdinkum graph as they casually strolled by to check if you are working. Isn't that amazing, how just the fact that there is a graph on the screen makes it look like you're deeply enthralled in hard core work. All you need is a graph and the word business a few times!

Graph
Figure 1.0 - The phenomenal success rate
of using graphs to create the illusion of work.

 The table to the left displays our annual revenue growth over the past ten years and estimates the next three. Exponential growth occurred in 1995 due to the phenomenon of the Internet. If your boss is currently reading this, he or she has most likely already caught on that this is complete and utter bullshit, but hey, at least you tried. Oh and another thing, bullets have the same effect. No, not like as in guns, point form documents! Here are some useless facts to prove the point...
  • 1995 revenue increased 125% due to Internet
  • 1998 e-commerce increased as consumer trust goes up during Christmas season.
  • 1999 estimated to be best year since 1995 with 130% growth predicted.
  • 2010 with Internet 2 online, new applications will spring our revenue into the next bracket.

See what I mean, complete horse shit but it works! You have to wonder why your manager makes so many trips past your desk in the first place. Never seems to actually be going anywhere, so what are they doing? The brief flicker of hope that your manager is coming over to congratulate you on lowering your "at work personal internet time" from 40 hours a week down to 35 are always shot down when he or she continues to walk past your desk! Maybe it's the fact that you have your screen pushed up against the corner of your cubical and your manager couldn't see it anyway, and is in fact going to another desk that they CAN see what employees are doing. Not all employees are smart enough to position their monitor according to visibility.

For more information on the information presented in this business document, email our sales and support center or contact your representative. We would be happy to discuss any of this complete garbage to you with in-depth over tones and filler you haven't experienced since your last trip to the recycling bin.

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