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General to moderately strong content.

Waiter Jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my wine ! Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!

Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !

Waiter, is there soup on the menu ? No, madam I wiped it off !

Waiter, there's a fly in my custard ! I'll fetch him a spoon sir !

Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !

Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup ! Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there !

Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup ! It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !

Waiter, there is a worm on my plate ! That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage ?

Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on that long order? Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.

Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye

"Waiter ! Have you got frogs' legs ? " "No, sir, I always walk this way"

Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.

Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week.

Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies.

Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.

Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back? Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife's cooking.

Waiter: I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you. Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

Waiter: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?

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