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OJ Jokes

Earlier today, O.J. Simpson was charged with 11 criminal counts, including kidnapping, robbery and assault. Afterwards, O.J. said, 'Wow. Now I really have done it all.
Q: Did you hear that the police are now saying that O.J. moved the bodies after the murders? A: They are accusing him of 2 carries for 58 yards.

Q: What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and John Elway? A: One drives a slow, white Bronco. The other "is" a slow, white Bronco.

Q: What is O.J.'s favorite Major League Baseball team? A: The Red Sox!

Q: Remember what a great career O.J. had with the Buffalo Bills? A: Imagine what he could have done with the Sabres!

Q: How do we know that Thurman Thomas didn't kill O.J.'s ex-wife? A: Thurman would have fumbled the knife.

Q: What is the slogan of OJ's new limo service? A: We'll get you to the airport with time to kill.

Q: What did OJ whisper to Robert Shapiro after the verdict was read? A: "Just let me grab my hat and gloves and I'll meet you at the door."

Q: What was the last thing Nicole said? A: "I should have had a V-8."

Q: What did O.J. do when he saw the cops in his rearview mirror? A: He froze and concentrated.

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to O.J. Simpson? A: "Don't worry, I'll take care of the kids."

Q: What did Johnny Cochran say when accused of beating his wife? A: At least I didn't kill her like some people I know.

Q: Why do they call him O.J.? A: Because he beats the pulp out of his women.

Q: What is the difference between O.J. and David Letterman? A: There is absolutely nothing funny about David Letterman.

Q: Why can't Heidi Fleiss and O.J. play golf together? A: Because Heidi Fleiss is a hooker and O.J. is a slicer.

Q: Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? A: OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.

Q: Why did OJ's kids want to live with their dad? A: They knew they could get away with murder.

Q: Where was Kato Kalin between 9 and 12? A: In the fourth grade.

Q: What Halloween Costume is sure to scare the hell out of your ex-girlfriend? A: An O.J. Simpson costume.

Q: Did you hear about OJ's new margerine endorsement? A: I can't believe I'm Not Guilty.

Q: What do the LAPD and Tropicana have in common? A: They both have O.J. in a can.

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