Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A
discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't
realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled
over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the
lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat
and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can
understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to
go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour
writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in
space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say
"focus,...breath...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty
of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere
and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set
and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of
a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself
lucky to get a card!
 
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