Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because he
saw the salad, dressing.
Q. What did the lettuce say to the
celery?
A. Are you stalking me?
Q. Why did the Tomato go
out with a prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date!
Q. What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?
A. We have to stop meating like this.
Q. What do you call a
vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?
A. Someone who lost
their veg-inity!
Q. Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A. You don't lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends
think you look thinner.
Q. Why do people kill animals?
A. Fur convenience steak.
Q. How many vegetarians does it
take to screw in a light bulb?
A. I don't know, but where do you
get your protein?
Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose intolerant.
Q. What's the best way to keep milk
fresh?
A. Leave it in the cow.
Q. Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
A. He sold his soul to seitan!
Mrs. Smith had cooked a halfway decent meal one night, and the old Smith had been goin' at it with gusto. He was about halfway finished his meal when he took a good long look at the potato. He looked over at Mrs. Smith and said, "This potato is bad." Mrs. Smith picked it up, smacked it, and put it back on his plate... then said, "If that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
 
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