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Silly Jokes



What does it mean to come home to a man who'll give you some love and tenderness? You're in the wrong house.

Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office? They do it right first time.

Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q. Why do men like love at first site? A. It saves them a lot of time.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.

Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Opposites attract.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

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