I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary
for the following reasons:
- I do physical labor
- I work at great depths
- I plunge head first into everything I do
- I do not get weekends off or public
holidays
- I work in a damp environment
- I don't get paid overtime
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation
- I work in high temperatures
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Yours truly,
Penis
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours straight
- You fall asleep on the job after brief
work periods
- You do not always follow the orders of the
management team
- You do not stay in your allocated
position, and often visit other areas
- You do not take initiative - you need to
be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
- You leave the workplace rather messy at
the end of your shift
- You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
- You'll retire well before reaching 65
- You're unable to work double shifts before
you have completed the day's work
- And if that were not all, you have been
seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2
suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
 
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