Lots of Jokes - Latest Jokes

What is big, hairy and can fly faster than sound? King Koncord.

If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater.

What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.

What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!

Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.

What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas.

Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in the world? King Pong.

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food.

Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter.

One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman. When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said "when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.

One day a blond went out to check her mail box. There was nothing in it. Her neighbor who was also out there gives her a weird look. An hour later she goes back out to her mailbox and goes back in cause there was nothing in it and her neighbor goes "What the hell is she doing?" An hour later she goes back out side and looks in the mailbox and there is nothing in it. Finally the neighbor gets curious enough to ask her what she is doing. The blone says, "My stupid computer keeps saying you've got mail."

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom? While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

How do you kill a blonde? Give them a gun an say it is a blow dryer

This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''

A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ''I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''Of couse it is, dear.'' The next day, the blonde said, ''I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''Of course it is dear!'' The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ''I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old."