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Funny Jokes |
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Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit! First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? Second Caribou: A maybee. Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk home or take a dog? What does a queen bee do when she burps? Issues a royal pardon! What is a bee's favourite classical music composer? Bee-thoven! What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold! Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs. How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day. His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Her husband looked stunned. He said "What?" There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman. They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die. No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men. All of the men started clapping. Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it. Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright. Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. Men are like high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
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