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General to moderately strong content.

Face Jokes

Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled.

A little boy came running into the kitchen. "Dad, dad," he said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face." "Tell him you've already got one," said his father.

Boy: You've got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. "When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile," she said. "Why, was he disappointed with the view?" "No, he fell over the edge."

Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen.

I don't know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died. "Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."

Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.

Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!

What is the hottest part of a man's face? His sideburns.

Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre).

Why is your face all scratched ? My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really, she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

Boy monster: You've got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really ? Boy monster: Yes - it's green and wrinkly !

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap.

First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist.

You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it's usually a complete blank.

Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you're wearing it out.

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