In order to assure the highest levels of
quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy
to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special
High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees
more S.H.I.T than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the
job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in
Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those
who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do
not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T
already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add your name to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of
B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for
promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of
Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)
Thank you,
Boss in General
(B.I.G S.H.I.T)
 
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