Depending on where someone is from and
where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their
driving styles and etiquette...
Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on
horn.
New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.
New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting
across all lanes of traffic.
Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot
solidly on accelerator.
Scarborough, Ontario: Both hands
clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting
in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in
rearview mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high
beams.
Los Angeles: One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double
decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator with gun
in lap
Ohio, but driving in California: Both hands on wheel, eyes
shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.
Italy: Both hands in air and gesturing, both feet on
accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.
Seattle: One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell
phone, foot on brake, mind on game.
Texas: One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle,
alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet
on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window.
West Virginia: Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted
in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to
antenna.
Florida: Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible
above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane
with the left blinker on.
Edmonton: One gloved hand
on wheel, one hand on heater, feet up underneath bum to keep warm, 3
differently decorated ice scrapers, one plastic, broken; one steel,
broken; one pastel, hidden in trunk. neither foot on accelerator or
brakes because with all the ice on the roads, you're all moving at
the same speed either way.
Dubuque, Iowa: no use of turn signal, or left on for 26
blocks...also cradling cheap cell phone.
Maine: Beat up 1983 Dodge Ram pick-up truck, right hand
holding a Dunkin Donuts coffee, cigarette dangling from mouth,
greasy hair shoved underneath an oil stained cap and classic rock
blaring from the radio.
Vancouver: Canadian beer in one hand, B.C. Weed in the other.
Dick on the steering wheel
New Orleans: One hand on
wheel, one hand holding down sum hookers head while she's giving
head!
Pennsylvania: Both hands on reigns.
California: (Bay Area / Silicon Valley) One hand on laptop
computer, one hand at on-board navigation/Internet console installed
in dash board,
cell phone attached to head with microphone earpiece, having a
executive meeting with half a dozen people on speaker phone, palm
pilot wedged between knees to observe up to date stock quotes, and
shoes kicked off, and feet crossed because traffic hasn't moved in
the past hour.
Montana: One finger on steering wheel of jacked up 4x4,
Charlie Daniels blaring from speakers, dead coyote in back, hay
leaves blowing out of bed while going down the highway.
Nebraska: Two hands on wheel, with head lodged up ass, chunks
of rust falling off by the pound.
Quebec: engaged in heated political discussion with espresso
in one hand and croissant in the other, aiming for pedestrians who
have the mistaken notion that crosswalks are for them.
Michigan: Both hands on wheel and head up ass.
Toronto: Both hands on the wheel, seat as far forward as
possible, head fixed only looking forward, ignoring people behind
and beside you, stopping and waiting for the road to fully clear
before making any forward progress.
Los Angeles: Lowered Honda, can't see over dash, driving too
fast or too slow, car sounds like a bee as it goes by.
 
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