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Dog Jokes

What dog wears contact lenses ? A cock-eyed spaniel !

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ? That hit the spots !

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ? I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

What do dogs have that no other animal has ? Puppy dogs !

What do you call an alcoholic dog ? A whino !

What is a dog's favourite sport ? Formula 1 drooling !

What is a dog's favourite food ? Anything that is on your plate !

When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ? When the door is open !

What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah ? A dog that chases cars - and catches them !

What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it ? A sausage dog !

Where do Eskimos train their dogs ? In the mush room !

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ? Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

Why do dogs wag their tails ? "Because no one else will do it for them !"

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ? His bark was much worse than it's bite !

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground ? Because you can't bury them in trees !

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus ? He stole the show !

What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ? A jet setter !

Why did the dog wear white sneakers ? Because his boots were at the menders !

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ? An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !

Who is the dogs favourite comedian ? Growlcho Marx !

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