Q. What does Popeye do to keep his favorite
tool from rusting?
A. Sticks it in Olive Oyl.
Q. How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
A. When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Q. What's a diaphragm?
A. A trampoline for dickheads.
Q. What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
A. The Hanger.
Q. What proof do we have that prostitution is recession-proof?
A. Everyone knows that hookers thrive on hard times.
Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as substitute meat.
Q. What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker.
Q. What's the difference between medium and rare?
A. 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.
Q. How is a woman like a road?
A. Both have manholes.
Q. What's the the definition of a vagina?
A. The box a penis comes in.
Q. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others
shoulders?
A. A scrotum pole!
Q. How many women with PMS does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else
in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the
bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE
DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they
wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've
been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did,
by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they
dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb
would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE
CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN
THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE
ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN
THIS...
 
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