People into car stereos will probably get a
kick out of this. Its a way to have some kind of ranking system with
which to describe these sometimes elaborate stereo systems. Even if
you're not into it, you can tell the difference between guys riding
around in a "try hard" system and a "dope ass, in
your face" system.
So we have devised the "CLASS"
system, ranking cars from Class 1 being truly an awesome event which
you will never forget, to Class 4, something you wish you could
forget - very bad. In a way you may find it amusing but in the end
they are in fact quite descriptive and you can use them with friends
so they know exactly what your talking about when describing
someone's car audio system!
|
Disorientation,
loss of direction and concentration, mandatory head
turn. And they said in the weather report it wasn't
going to be windy! Ear bleeds. Adrenaline rush. Dropping
to knees to pray.
You thought god
was coming until you realized it was the cars subwoofers
giving you that pressure sensation in your chest, only
equalled by the astounding levels of treble. |
CLASS 1
Codenames
: The Earthquake Epicentre, Bertha |
|
Someone's out with
their sound system turned up and windows down! But
where? Ohhh, I heard it from that far?
Geez, if my ears are in pain, what about that guy in the
back seat scratching on the windows trying to get out!
Bass notes are
pronounced and hard hitting, but aren't knocking you
over. Treble is reallllyyy loud which seems to be trying
to make up for a lack of mids? Hmmmmm. Watch for the
Knight Rider alarm light blinking back and forth! |
CLASS 2
Codenames
: Rolling Disco, PA |
|
What is that?
Surely that's not another car going by playing
"Another Night" by Real McCoy? Shit, it is! An
awful lot of treble coming out of that car. Ahhh that's
because its got a row of... FOUR 6x9's on the back
shelf!?!?! As the car goes by you can see the LOUD light
glowing on the tape deck. But that's funny, there isn't
any bass. Why is that guy got his head hanging out the
window looking for people to notice the car? I only did
accidentally. Also notice the stuff hanging off the
rear view mirror, how dire!
No bass, an
abundance of treble, no distortion because they got it
just below that point. |
CLASS 3
Codenames
: The Juvenile Committee, Theme Park |
|
Hahaha, what's that
sound? Oh shit! Its right beside me! I could probably
spit louder (and hopefully hit their car). Sounds like
the car beside me has it up "pretty loud"
(cough cough)... Maybe I should warn him about the
possibility of hearing loss, he must be pushing, ohh,
85dB!!! hahaha
Usually a level
up from a stock system, with a "power booster EQ"
under the glove box. Full volume, your witnessing
popping sounds and distortion like the music is being
played through a sand pipe! Look for the PIONEER sticker
on the back window. Even better, look for an ALPINE
sticker and then see if the car actually HAS any ALPINE
gear in it hahaha. |
CLASS 4
Codenames
: Tincan, Roadshow, Rolling Circus |
 
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