This pre-booty call agreement
(hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the
_____day of __________, 2002, by_______________________, between
____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat
it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the
events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you love me?) The
answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the
"backup," unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none
of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not
friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything
behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass
up, get dressed and go the
fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't
care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye
contact the better.
19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking
for your ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms
of this Agreement, it will automatically
become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY
CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other
words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly
ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
 
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