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Bath Jokes

Which birds steal soap from the bath ? Robber ducks !

How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed.

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !

What kind of bath can you take without water? A sun bath.

When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty? The bathtub.

Where does a vampire take a bath? In the bat-room (bathroom).

What criminal doesn't take baths? A dirty crook.

Why did the robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.

What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ? The scum of the earth !

What dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle !

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !

Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !

May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ? Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath?' he asked the clerk. 'I can give you a room,' the clerk said. 'But you'll have to take the bath by yourself!'

Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, 'Oh, God, are you still in there?'

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. "Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out. "The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel."

What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!

Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You do? Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!

Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five?

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