Lots of Jokes - Enjoy our massive collection of dirty jokes, clean jokes, funny pictures and videos!

We've got jokes, funny pictures, videos, comics and more!

About Lots of Jokes Link To Us Contact Lots of Jokes Your Boss Is Coming!!! Bookmark and Share Follow lotsofjokes on Twitter

Funny Videos Funny Pictures Fortune Cookies Win Contest Latest Jokes Submit Joke Find Jokes Upload Videos User Feedback

General to moderately strong content.
You're A Mom When Category

You're A Mom When...


You know you're a mom when...

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

You child throws up, and you catch it.

Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.

You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.

You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it.

You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.

You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.

You hate the thought of his wife even more.

You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.

You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.

You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.

You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.

You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.

You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...


Previous Page Email Joke to a Friend

 






Lots of Jokes Funny Features Top Rated Jokes Popular Jokes
About Us
Contact Us
User Feedback
Contest
Advertise
Welcome
Link To Us
Find Jokes
Funny Videos
Funny Pictures
Funny Comics
Submit Jokes
Latest Jokes
Fortune Cookies
Dirty Jokes
Celebrity Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Political Jokes
Religious Jokes
Tasteless Jokes
Bar Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Classic Jokes
Naughty Jokes
Top Ten Lists
Kids Jokes
Tasteless Jokes

Copyright © 2024 Luckytool, LLC. All rights reserved. Lots of Jokes™ is a trademark of Luckytool, LLC. Contents is protected by international copyright laws. Unauthorized copying or duplication in any form is strictly prohibited without the prior written consent of Luckytool, LLC. Use of Lots of Jokes acknowledges your acceptance to our terms and conditions, DMCA notice and privacy policy.